This Is Me.

getting an 80% on a test in 8th grade: (loud wailing that lasts at least an hour followed by a sinking feeling of despair and uselessness)
getting an 80% on a test now: (power slides down the hall while singing the national anthem)

“mommy, can you tell me how you met dad?”

“well, son, [ludacris voice] when i was 13 i had my first love”